Out of body

Maybe because my body isn't quite my own or because it has been taken over lately by our little, growing boy, but I've been feeling out of myself. When I see Violet I wonder who this little person is and where did my baby go. I see Bob and I and I wonder how did we get here, as in physically, to Pittsburgh and what are we doing here. It's as if he and I haven't changed but everything around us has. It's our stuff in a weird setting. It's our baby turned to a little girl. It's my tummy expanding everyday to make room for another family member. Pictures of friends back home, of past trips, of our 23rd St house, seem almost strange, not as in foreign but as did that really happen? Did it lead us here? How is it part of who we are now? Is it holding us back or saving a place for the future.