My Grandma

My grandma turned 90 in December, but we are celebrating it again on her 90 1/2 birthday. I've been working on her invitations and going through pictures from the last 10 years. Sadly, I can tell she is aging. I forget it when I see her a couple times a month. I also was sad because unless there is a great grand child or a holiday, we don't have a lot of pictures with her! But I came up with two designs to chose from and I've asked my mom for a really old (like 30 years ago) pic and I look forward to see it.

Zoo!

Enough with the heavy posts. Here was Violet's first trip to the zoo. She enjoyed the elephants and sea lions, did NOT like the naked mole rats, and could watch monkeys and birds all day. The tigers, hippos and cheetahs were sleepy, the rhinos were too far away, but the she lion growled right at her and Vi barely jumped!

A good day

I guess today is a good day. The sun is shining and I'm optimistic about our next adventure. I'm excited to be a part of a new neighborhood, to find the quirks in a new city and discover our favorite, kid and dog friendly places. Don't worry I'm scared of driving across the country with a toddler, I'm scared of multiple flights home, of not meeting people I like or not wanting to leave the house in the winter and becoming depressed. But today I will try not to think of those things and will look forward to new farmers markets and CSAs, new bike paths and areas to hike, new happy hour spots.

Planning

I like it. I do it a lot, most of the time without knowing or being deliberate. I think about what nap time will be like in the summer even though I can't predict Violet or her schedule. I think about work this summer and how it will be a little different than last summer. But I don't know where to start with next summer or even the fall. I can't picture where we will live, our neighborhood, what full days with Violet for a full week will be like. I try to imagine, I try to put together a puzzle I don't have pieces for.

A little sentimental

I can be a little sentimental. I'm still attached to my car that we sold a week ago, I'm struggling with renting out our house again (first tour tonight), But lately it's my job and my career that I don't know how to deal with. Don't get me wrong I'm very grateful that I will get to be a stay-at-home mom, but I'm sad to leave a profession I love and scared I may not be able to return to it. Watch out, when my hair turns colors I may have a real melt down.

Scary Food

I don't mean Halloween style. I mean the crap around us that frightens me and the others that gross me out.
GMO, why does our food need to be genetically altered? Why does this not worry Americans like it does the rest of the world?
High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sucralose, Stevia, Aspartame etc. come on sugar is fine, why go crazy?
Food coloring. Causes all sorts of reactions for some people, is it really needed? I'll take my fruit and veggies dyes over bright colors!
Gelatin, yeah um gross. Food can be thickened other ways.
Remnant, like gelatin it grosses me out and I think it is only used to be cheap.
Hot dogs and lunch meat. Maybe that isn't fair because I don't like meat, but these really disgust me. Steak, Chicken at least those are real meat from one part of the animal.
Petro Chemicals. They go by all sorts if names and WTF are they doing in our food?!! So when I shop certain places or buy only certain foods it isn't that I like spending all that money on groceries, it is because I'm pretty frightened about what we eat and what is out there to eat. This isn't how it is supposed to be.

Update: Monsanto is evil and they are taking over the food world, if you didn't already know this, be scared and try to avoid them - here is a brief list in what they have their hands in. http://theczech.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/monsanto.jpg?w=490&h=692

Emotional Roller Coaster

We've made a decision and we're slowly revealing it to family first, at least until we have a proper contract in hand and then can think through more logistics. So even knowing the plan, I go from excited to so sad. I didn't expect to be in our little house for 8 years, to become so invested in our neighborhood and professional committees and to love my job. That last one may be the hardest. I probably won't work for the next two years and I am ok with that, but I do worry about what happens after that. If we ever have to fall back on my career I need to stay involved and up to date on codes and computer programs and new products and materials. I'll have to decided if I get my license in another state.

So if you read this and you haven't talked to me in a while, give me a call, send me an email. I'm happy to fill you in, in a more personalized way. Then you can join me on this wild ride.

17 months

Violet is 17 months today. Crazy. She is definitely a toddler and looks more like a little girl than a baby. She eats what we eat and tries to say what we say.The cutest thing is either saying Lulu or making her animal noises. One day I'll figure out how to load a video here (from my phone). I'm trying to prepare myself for tantrums and we need to talk discipline. I've read 'Parenting with Love and Logic' but I need a refresher. She is gaining new skills and an independence that is fun to see and I'm sure she'll continue to wow us daily.

My home

I love it. From the squeaking floors to the pellet stove, from the attic skylights to the cracked plaster walls, from the tiny garage to the apple trees and raspberries. No matter where we end up you are my dream home, I just didn't know it.

Selection Monday

For I don't know how long, it has been Selection Sunday ( march madness begins, teams announced and the brackets are filled). This year for NCAA basketball it will be the same (Sunday the 17) but for my little family of 3+Lulu, it is the 11th. My blog is private, but I now ask those of you who read it to not mention this outside of here unless in a private conversation. Now that he is finished with his PhD, Bob has a couple options floating out there and they are announced on the 11, with a deadline of the 15. It will be a long week. Then again when we heard of these options in January, March 15 felt like a lifetime away and it is now less than 2 weeks. We'll do a small reveal until we decide to go public. Thanks for all your support getting to this point.

I'm lazy

I'll admit it. When Vi sleeps, I'm not always productive. When my alarm goes off, I hate leaving my warm bed and don't until the last possible moment. I'm rarely motivated to go to the gym, it always sounds better! So I'm lazier than you think. I hate filing and my desk can tell you! I like to start projects and make lists, but sometimes that is as far as I get. Oops.

More pics

Christmas

Snow time!

Lessons learned

First, I must apologize for the lack of posts. There was Thanksgiving, family Christmas and then two terrible shootings. All of which evoke some emotion and reaction and I feel compelled to write about. Yet my time slips through my fingers some days. But I've been thinking of this post for a little while.
I feel like we are finally teaching Vi things that she can show us she understands. She can point to her ear and toes when asked and has added please to her baby signs. And so I think of the lessons I learned growing up, like learning to drive. My dad taught me how to drive in the snow and put on chains, but Bob taught me to drive a stick. in so many things my parents gave me the basics for me to build on. I just hope we can give Vi the same. The pressure is on.

Sad day

I had something I really wanted to post, but then my day was shaken. Our neighbors have not been well. Aging, former smokers, one now wheelchair bound, but I didn't think we'd lose the other one as quick as we did. When we bought our house 8 years ago I wondered how it would be sharing our driveway and I didn't like it at first. But they grew on me. They loved Lulu, always pet her and gave her treats (she loved them too, always heading to their back door for those pats and treats). Bob mowed their lawn, we borrowed tools, talked about our gardens. They gave Vi an outfit when she was born, we'd take over baked goods. Both were in and out if the hospital last winter. Las week Bev took a turn and the doc gave her a week. She made it 8 days. Family had been coming non stop and we chatted with the members we knew and there was a lot of medication, home health workers and then hospice. When I heard a knock on the door this morning and opened it expecting a neighbor and found hospice instead, I knew. I hoped she would hold on this winter and we'd be back working in our gardens in the spring, pulling weeds, she'd ask me about work and Violet while scratching Lulu. I didn't know I'd become so attached to the little lady next door, but I know the whole neighborhood will miss her.

You know your pjs are too small when...

We Made It!

We survived our first year with a baby... And I made it through the day yesterday without crying, even when she neglected to take a morning nap so I could frost cupcakes and shower! I made it a year breasfeeding, we haven't had too many drops or spills, only a few messy car seats and midnight crib changes. Lulu hasn't been too neglected and we even managed to watch a movie and sleep all night! Here are pictures from a small get together with friends and then today we'll celebrate with family.

Mom's Group Bday

Group shot

enjoying a gluten free, sugar free, dairy free cup cake kind of thing!

Video test Cait TKD