Lessons learned

First, I must apologize for the lack of posts. There was Thanksgiving, family Christmas and then two terrible shootings. All of which evoke some emotion and reaction and I feel compelled to write about. Yet my time slips through my fingers some days. But I've been thinking of this post for a little while.
I feel like we are finally teaching Vi things that she can show us she understands. She can point to her ear and toes when asked and has added please to her baby signs. And so I think of the lessons I learned growing up, like learning to drive. My dad taught me how to drive in the snow and put on chains, but Bob taught me to drive a stick. in so many things my parents gave me the basics for me to build on. I just hope we can give Vi the same. The pressure is on.

Sad day

I had something I really wanted to post, but then my day was shaken. Our neighbors have not been well. Aging, former smokers, one now wheelchair bound, but I didn't think we'd lose the other one as quick as we did. When we bought our house 8 years ago I wondered how it would be sharing our driveway and I didn't like it at first. But they grew on me. They loved Lulu, always pet her and gave her treats (she loved them too, always heading to their back door for those pats and treats). Bob mowed their lawn, we borrowed tools, talked about our gardens. They gave Vi an outfit when she was born, we'd take over baked goods. Both were in and out if the hospital last winter. Las week Bev took a turn and the doc gave her a week. She made it 8 days. Family had been coming non stop and we chatted with the members we knew and there was a lot of medication, home health workers and then hospice. When I heard a knock on the door this morning and opened it expecting a neighbor and found hospice instead, I knew. I hoped she would hold on this winter and we'd be back working in our gardens in the spring, pulling weeds, she'd ask me about work and Violet while scratching Lulu. I didn't know I'd become so attached to the little lady next door, but I know the whole neighborhood will miss her.

You know your pjs are too small when...

We Made It!

We survived our first year with a baby... And I made it through the day yesterday without crying, even when she neglected to take a morning nap so I could frost cupcakes and shower! I made it a year breasfeeding, we haven't had too many drops or spills, only a few messy car seats and midnight crib changes. Lulu hasn't been too neglected and we even managed to watch a movie and sleep all night! Here are pictures from a small get together with friends and then today we'll celebrate with family.

Mom's Group Bday

Group shot

enjoying a gluten free, sugar free, dairy free cup cake kind of thing!

Video test Cait TKD

At Peace

Some days I find myself smiling in the car, whether it be at a realization about where I am in life or singing along with a song and some days the same songs make me overly emotional. Today was an emotional realization. The song was 'We are Young', which I love the beginning lines, I think they are very clever, and then the lyrics say, 'and if by the time the bar closes, you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home.' I have a great sense of peace knowing that the who that will carry me home is the only person I would want carrying me home. Then he says, 'Tonight we are young, let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun.' And I realize a couple of things, we aren't that young any more, but those nights we get at the bar - be them few and far between, we feel young, like we can conquer the world again, we can still set the world on fire, but our passions in life have changed, what are we setting it on fire for, it isn't about just us. And I'm okay with that. I still want to set the world on fire, but I only need to burn brighter than the sun occassionally.  You know the 'little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane, two American kids...' and I think, 'Wow, we're not kids anymore, I can't hold on to 16, wait, why would I want to?' The place I'm at now is great, minus the sleep deprived nights and sticking to a budget, the other big things I worry about are getting to work on time and my love hate relationship with the Medela Pump. So maybe it is okay to be emotional when I hear certain songs, because I'm not depressed, I'm actually quite happy. so what if my eyes leak a little, it must be part of the mommy gene.

My morning commute

I cancelled my parking permit in May when we were gone more than half of the month, and had to drive on and off through part of June until it stopped raining, before riding my bike consistently. But now the summer is coming to a close and even my ride is evident! The mornings are cooler, leaves are on the ground and school buses are out in full force. So I ride through my neighborhood, to a multi-use path, on to a share the road street, through the capital mall then down the street that runs in front of my office, for a whopping 1.75 miles. It takes me about 12 minutes because of stop lights and stop signs, which I generally obey, but I have the lights timed! I love riding through the 'hood checking out the new paint jobs and yard work, but my favorite part is the capital. In the morning people are hustling through to get to work, squirrels are darting about, the grass is freshly watered. At lunch (the end of my work day) the fountains are on, people are picnicking and occasionally lawn bowling! But now the fountains are off for the year. No more kids splashing around and squealing with delight as the cold water shoots out of the pavers and on the other end of the park stands an empty, funny looking sculpture that looks rather odd without water.
September is ride your bike, commute to work month, or something like that. But in Salem it is also, tear apart every pathway bikes use and close them at an awkward place to go around month. So lately I'm weaving in and out of parking lots, on sidewalks, alleys or running across streets. I'm not sure how they could time it before it rains, but there has to be some way to give an alternate route, (a detour maybe!) or at least advance notice so I can go around. Once I get to the closure, I'm less likely to obey it unless it is at a place I can turn off. That being said, I still enjoy my ride, my 10 miles a week or my 1 hour and 40 minutes of making the world go by a little slower. (So far I haven't been honked at or yelled at, but I still have crazy driver stories, maybe I'll post a how to drive around a bike for those of you that aren't used to dealing with it!)

Fall

It's here, I can't deny it. The air is different, the leaves are falling and the garden has slowed down. And it makes me a bit sad. Summer always goes too fast and I always have grander hopes, more camping, more swimming, suntans, patio drinks etc. I do look forward to duck games, thanksgiving, Christmas, but Violet will be 1 and then I'll be 35. Where did this last year go?

How to sleep with a sheep (pillow)

This is for Britta!

Even crazier sleeping

Violet crawls now, which means she even sleeps differently. Here are two nights and one nap images from her crib cam. We love to check on her and see what nutty position she has gotten into!

Grandma's pool

In the middle of almost nowhere, lived my grandparents. Only 1 radio station came in, tv was only by a 5' dish satellite and the power went out frequently. In the winter we stayed up waiting for it to snow, or we were playing in the snow, well most of the time (we learned to sew, crochet, read, played with dolls...) In the summer though we painted, cleaned and then filled the pool. A full size pool with a diving board and slide, a kid's dream, but in the forest and unheated. It was awesome. But I don't know the last time it was drained and cleaned and had kids splash around in it, my guess is at least 15 years ago. The slide is cracked and the diving board has no bounce. So why the trip down memory lane? Well the pool has been drained and there is talk of filling it in, not up, and this makes me very sad. No one is there to take care of it, the repairs would be costly and insurance doesn't know what kind of liability it is exactly. But once it is filled, rock, dirt or concrete, it won't be drained again. I won't push my sister in or chase my cousin around it or make my uncle dive to the bottom to unplug it so we can fill it with clean water again.

Graduation

A couple weeks ago we drove to Davis for Bob to receive his PhD hood. Here are some pics to prove it.

What? I'm comfortable!

Blankets are ok at this age...

Self identity

One of the groups I'm a part of is for young architects. Last night we had a small event, mini golfing, but before when we were waiting for the rain to stop, we sat around chatting. This was a family event so it was not only great to have Violet and Bob there, but to meet other spouses and kids. Sure the golf was entertaining too. Afterwards some of us ate dinner and we did some more chatting (all this adult talk!) and how we introduce ourselves and describe ourselves says a lot about us. Think about when you first meet someone and you shake their hand, "Hi---" is it followed by, "My name is" or "I'm fill in the blank with your name". Even that small sentence says I'm called this or I am this, which are you? But take it farther and think of how you describe yourself, and not just physically, because that is the easy part. Sure, my blond hair, glasses and stature are a big part if who I am, but that isn't all. Where does my profession fit in my list? What about not just wife and mom, but daughter, cousin, aunt? What about my other interests, swimming, cooking, pet owner, fuzzy animal lover, frugal shopper, bike commuter, volunteer, where do they fit on my list.

Ways to hide a baby...

I've been thinking about how a year ago I was just starting to tell some people we were having a baby in October - yes I waited a long time, mostly because I was looking for a job! I'm a fairly small person and didn't have morning sickness to hide, but here is what I did...
Wear a coat, all the time, easy in the spring in Oregon!
Buy regular clothes one size larger
Order drinks that look like cocktails, before the rest of your group is there or directly at the bar
Excuses for not drinking include - a cold, antibiotics, new diet (sugar free, gluten free etc.)
Stay sitting, don't stand up and walk around, you can hide a lot while seated
Be the first to arrive and the last to leave
Hold your bag in front of you, maybe that was obvious.

Now ways to hide my 8 month old...
Just kidding.

Crazy take 2

We are back from Scotland. Yes that is right, two big trips, in one month, with a baby. We are officially nuts. Violet was a trooper again, at least on the flights! As for the time change, it wasn't so easy this time. And the ferry ride was at night so that also wasn't the best. But now we've been home almost a week and things seem pretty normal.
We were in the Orkeney Islands, very far north - 59degrees north! The farthest north we've been. The sun rises around 3 and sets around 11. Bob was presenting at a conference with two other Willamette profs, so I tagged along. We snuck in a day of sight seeing or site seeing of archaeological, stone age ruins - fascinating and incredible sights! I also made it to Highland Park and on the last day Violet met some of our friends!

Families

Family is funny, well maybe not family so much as life. We've been dealt our hands and although sometimes life is what you make it, sometimes it just is. So when I start thinking 'oh man I'd love it if my uncle was like that or my grandma did this', I then think, 'oh but I wouldn't trade my time with my dad or I wouldn't want a brother in law like that.' and the thing is we can't pick and choose which part of our family, our life, to trade with someone else. So if you start envying someone else, their family, their house, job, experiences, like i do sometimes, maybe remember they have bad parts too that you wouldn't want and the good parts you do have are just as good as theirs - just different.

Crazy sleeper

We have a camera on Violet because she is downstairs from us, and we find her in the oddest of positions!

Packing

Some of you were curious so, for the two of us and Violet we had a day backpack, soft suitcase, and a roller. We did laundry once and bought diapers and wipes once (yeah no cloth on the go). We practice packed the week before and laid everything out. I didn't worry about a pump, we used the ergo non stop, and even had toys, books and blankets with us. We had an emergency/first aid kit in the carry on with Tylenol and teething gel, we had ear plugs, head phones, snacks, even a change of clothes for all of us in the carry ons. We brought Vi's soap, laundry soap and sunscreen because there are some things I didn't want to chance. She needed her sun hat more than stocking cap. It was warmer than expected so she went sockless, but didn't get to use her swim suit. She loved seeing the other babies on the plane. And little old ladies loved her! All 3 times we went through security were easier than expected and they opened new lines for us. We skipped a restroom line and used it for free at the leaning tower because of her. She was a trooper on the up and downs and ate when I thought it would help her, even sleeping through one landing.

Are we crazy?

Probably. We dragged Violet with us to...Italy for 10 days. Yes, our 7 month old who slept 11 hours in a row at night was forced to flip her schedule by her crazy parents. We also dragged her on trains, hiking trails, a boat, made her nap in the ergo, tried to dip her feet in the Ligurian sea and changed or fed her in the oddest of places. And she was a champ. She fussed on the plane only when she was tired and you know what, adults do too! We've been home 4 nights and she is back on track. She is better at jet lag then we are. I'll post more on what we learned and how to pack, but for now, here are some pics!

Daddy Time

This last weekend I had a conference at the coast and Violet and Bob joined me. He spends a lot of time with Violet, not just when I'm in classes and here is the proof :)

Happy Girl

 Just a regular happy day

 First day laying outside, in the shade of course.

 Chillin' with my dog

This is the tiny crib I used to sleep in!

6 months already!

Where has time gone! I can't believe Violet is 6 months already. Most nights she does a pretty good job and lets us sleep even. She has favorite toys, reaches for people, laughs, 'talks', tries to pet Lulu, but still does not want to nap! We've tried avocado and sweet potato and she makes terrible faces and pushes them out - we find it pretty funny. Last night I had to rock her to sleep, she had a stuffy nose and was very fussy, but oh how sweet she was falling asleep in my arms again.

Things I think about now

Some things I didn't ever think would cross my mind...That do now
Better go to the bathroom now, while she is asleep.
If someone broke into the house, would it wake Violet and would they steal my borrowed, but very expensive breast pump?
How long can a baby go with out pooing?
Why isn't there a drive thru for every restaurant, why just fast food?
How does ordering groceries online work?
Why is there expectant mother parking but not, 'small baby sleeping in a heavy carseat' parking?
Will I ever sleep in a t-shirt again?
Plus I think about my c--section and not so much the outside scar, but the inside one and wonder if it healed right and forever. (I recently had a friend that hers reopened after 4 years!)

And More Photos

Growing up a cyclist!











Got my Sheep Purse












5 months













Protect those ears!












Centering group!